Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
