If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
