nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This house was built for laser tag.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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