Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
