I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
