she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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