she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
