i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize