1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
