so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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