very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
