i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
