there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
time to smoke my breakfast
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
