and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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