bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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