I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
