how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
