She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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