So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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