first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i out mim tonsoeep
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