I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
