So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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