He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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