Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
