thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
