Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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