Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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