he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
