wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
