I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
