His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize