Pappa wants mamma naked
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
