A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Two words: blizzard sex
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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