So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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