walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
