I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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