just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
