You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
