I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Couch. On fire.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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