Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I will pee on everything he values.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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