My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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