i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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