just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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