Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
