we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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