I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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