one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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