I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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