hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
