thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize