Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
