I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
