I puked a lego.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
