I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This baby is an asshole
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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