btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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