So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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