left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
