he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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