I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
