hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
