I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Less talking, more tequila
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
