look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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