just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she smelled like a LAN party
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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