YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
