dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
