So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
